Last weekend, Caitlyn and I were in Vail for a fun local race with friends, as well as some hiking and mountain biking.
There is a kind of tiredness that comes after a race or a long ride which makes perfect sense.
You have asked a lot of your body. You have burned through energy, taxed your muscles, and created a real physiological demand that requires food, hydration, rest, and recovery.
That kind of exhaustion is easy to understand.
But it is not the kind most people are experiencing when they find themselves completely depleted by two o’clock in the afternoon after spending the morning sitting at a desk.
Over the past couple weeks, I have seen a conversation spreading like wildfire online about the idea that chronic stress is draining your mitochondria and creating exhaustion at the cellular level.
The proposed solution is usually some combination of testing, supplements, nutrition, and protocols designed to recharge the cells and restore the body’s energy.
There is truth inside parts of that conversation…
Our cells need energy. Nutrition matters. Recovery matters. Supplementation can be useful when the body is genuinely depleted.
But I think the conversation often begins one step too late.
Because before we ask how to optimize the cells, we have to ask what created the depletion in the first place.
For most people, the answer is not that they ran a marathon before lunch.
It is that their nervous system has been fighting an invisible battle since the moment they woke up.
There is an important distinction between physiological stress and emotional stress.
Physiological stress is what happens when you place a direct demand on the body.
You run a race, train intensely, sleep too little, recover poorly, or simply ask the body to expend more energy than it has available.
In those situations, nutrition, rest, and supplementation can play an important role because the body has physically used its resources.
Emotional stress works differently.
You may wake up anxious about the day ahead.
You may already feel overwhelmed by everything that needs to get done.
You may be carrying resentment from a conversation the night before or replaying something painful that happened months ago.
Nothing physically dangerous is happening, but the nervous system does not necessarily know that.
It recognizes a perceived threat and responds accordingly.
The sympathetic nervous system activates. Adrenaline increases. Cortisol rises. Digestion slows as the body begins prioritizing survival over repair, recovery, and long-term health.
That reaction is useful when you need to escape an actual threat.
It becomes exhausting when the threat is an email, a deadline, an imagined future, or a conversation you keep replaying in your mind.
Earlier in the stress series, we explored this idea from a few different angles.
In Issue 016: Physiological Stress, we looked at the way emotional dysregulation and physical load can reinforce each other.
When the nervous system remains activated, energy drops, recovery slows, hormonal balance is disrupted, and the body gradually begins to pay the price.
Then, in Issue 020: Cortisol Isn't the Problem, we went directly at the growing tendency to treat cortisol as the enemy.
The point was not that cortisol, nutrition, or supplementation are irrelevant. It was that cortisol is often a symptom of the state a person has been living in, and no protocol can fully compensate for a nervous system that remains chronically dysregulated.
This conversation about cellular exhaustion is another version of the same pattern.
We are trying to improve the biology without first addressing the state that is driving the biology.
And that is why someone can be doing many of the "right" things and still feel stuck.
They may have changed their diet, purchased the supplements, completed the testing, and followed the protocol exactly as prescribed.
But if they wake up in anxiety, move through the morning in overwhelm, spend the afternoon in resentment, and lie down at night anticipating everything that could go wrong tomorrow, the body is still being asked to operate from a stress response all day long.
The biology is downstream of a dysregulated state.
When the nervous system believes you are under threat, it reallocates resources.
Digestion becomes less important because digesting lunch is not the priority when the body thinks it needs to survive an attack.
Hormonal patterns shift. Adrenaline and cortisol move through the system. The liver and kidneys have more work to do as the body processes the chemical consequences of remaining in that activated state.
Now you are asking the body to work harder while also making it more difficult for the body to absorb and use the support you are giving it.
This does not mean the supplements are useless or the protocol is wrong.
It means the internal environment may not be ready to benefit fully from them.
You are trying to optimize a system that still believes it is in danger.
Before I asked someone what supplement they were taking, I would want to know what they were feeling.
What is present when you first wake up?
Is it peace, gratitude, hope, or inspiration?
Or are you beginning the day with anxiety, anger, overwhelm, resentment, or fear?
That simple check-in matters because your emotional state gives you information about what the nervous system is doing.
Most people do not consciously choose to begin the day in stress. They simply wake up inside a familiar pattern and start moving.
The mind begins anticipating painful things that could happen in the future or returning to painful things that happened in the past.
The nervous system follows the direction of the mind, and the stress response activates before the day has really begun.
That process can continue for hours without the person ever recognizing that it is happening.
This is why awareness is the first skill.
You cannot regulate a state you have not learned to recognize.
Once you recognize that you are activated, the next step is learning how to center the nervous system and move out of the fear-based state.
That means turning down the sympathetic response and restoring access to the parasympathetic state associated with calm, digestion, recovery, and repair.
It also means training the mind so that it is not continually reactivating the nervous system.
If your mind is constantly rehearsing a painful past or predicting a painful future, the body will keep responding to that story as though it is happening now.
When you learn to direct the mind toward the present, toward constructive action, and toward a compelling vision for what comes next, the nervous system begins receiving a different signal.
From there, many people notice that their energy changes.
They are handling the same responsibilities. The schedule may not be dramatically different. The external circumstances may still require attention.
But the body is no longer burning through its resources fighting threats that are not actually present.
Extraordinary relationships are rare.
Not because extraordinary people don't exist, but because relatively few people are willing to do the work required to create one.
That work isn't glamorous.
It looks like emotional competency.
State management.
Vision.
Honest self-reflection.
Courage.
Consistency.
But over time, that's exactly the work that changes who you become.
And who you become changes everything you attract.
Once the nervous system is more consistently regulated, it makes sense to look at the rest of the picture.
Are you sleeping enough?
Are you eating in a way that supports your body?
Are there genuine nutritional deficiencies?
Would testing or supplementation be useful?
Those are valuable questions, but they are much more useful when asked in the right order.
First regulate. Then optimize.
I have seen this sequence make an enormous difference for people who were already doing everything else correctly.
In fact, naturopathic and functional medicine doctors sometimes refer people into our training after the testing has been completed, the nutrition has been addressed, and the right supplements have been prescribed—but the patient still is not improving.
They often do not need a more complicated protocol.
They need to learn how to stop producing so much internal stress.
Once they develop the ability to regulate their nervous system, manage emotion, and direct the mind, the same health protocols frequently begin working more effectively.
In some cases, people eventually need far less external support than they did before.
Not because nutrition stopped mattering.
Because their body was finally operating in a state where it could use that support.
I understand why the cellular explanation is appealing.
It gives exhaustion a concrete cause.
It makes the problem feel separate from you.
And, most importantly, it offers something you can buy to make the problem go away.
I have certainly had moments when I wished there were a supplement that could simply handle something for me.
But a supplement cannot change the way you relate to your life.
It cannot stop you from rehearsing fear.
It cannot teach you how to move out of resentment, interrupt anxiety, or return yourself to a state of peace.
Those are skills.
And when those skills are missing, the body often carries the cost.
This weekend, Caitlyn and I will be here in Denver with friends and family, working through the final wedding details, getting outside for a hike, and intentionally slowing down to enjoy a barbecue together.
There will be plenty to do, and I am sure there will be moments when it would be easy to become activated by the logistics.
The training is not about eliminating everything that could create stress.
It is about noticing the state you are bringing to what is happening and choosing how you want to engage with it.
Because the same weekend can feel completely different depending on the state you live it from.
You can also find The Connection Fix on the Blog or on The Connection Fix Podcast
However you engage best, use that.
Before I wrap, take a moment and notice:
What emotional state do you most often wake up in—and what might that state be asking your body to manage all day?
Do not judge the answer.
Just recognize it.
Because awareness is where regulation begins.
And regulation is what makes real optimization possible.
More soon.
Have a great rest of your day, and I'll look forward to connecting again next week.
Joey