Last week, I was trying on suits for my upcoming wedding.
And I'll be honest...
There was a brief moment where my cortisol definitely spiked.
Weddings are amazing.
And trust me, they can also be expensive.
Really expensive.
But that moment got me thinking about something I've been seeing everywhere lately.
Cortisol.
Everyone seems to be talking about it.
Everyone is trying to lower it.
Everyone is hunting it down like it's the enemy.
And while cortisol absolutely matters from a stress hormone standpoint...
I think we're starting the conversation in the wrong place.
Because cortisol isn't usually the problem.
It's the symptom of a problem.
Over the last month or so, we've explored stress from a few different angles.
In Stress Part 1: Stress in Macro, we looked at how many people are carrying stress about what's happening in the world—even when most of what they're worried about is completely outside their sphere of influence.
In Stress Part 2: Stress in Micro, we explored how everyday events can trigger disproportionate reactions that have very little to do with what's actually happening in the moment.
And in Stress Part 3: Physiological Stress, we looked at how physiological factors—sleep, nervous system regulation, and lifestyle—can become sources of chronic activation all on their own.
Today's conversation builds on all three.
Because eventually, every discussion about stress seems to arrive at the same place:
Cortisol.
And when I hear people talking about cortisol, supplements, protocols, devices, and the newest biohacks...
My first question is:
What is creating the cortisol in the first place?
Because if we don't answer that...
We're just treating symptoms.
If we really want to optimize hormones and decrease stress hormones like cortisol...
It starts with lifestyle.
And even more specifically...
It starts with state management through self.
Most people's cortisol levels have a direct correlation to emotional mismanagement.
They're spending large portions of the day in fear-based states.
Anxiety.
Overwhelm.
Guilt.
Shame.
Resentment.
Worry.
And when those states become chronic...
The body responds.
That's what cortisol is responding to.
Not just what happened.
But how we're relating to what happened.
This is where I would start before buying another supplement.
Before ordering another device.
Before starting another protocol.
Become aware of your emotional state.
Develop sensitivity to what you're actually feeling.
Can you identify when you're in a sympathetic nervous system response?
Fight.
Flight.
Fear.
Stress.
Or when you're in a parasympathetic state?
Peace.
Joy.
Compassion.
Are you breathing deeply and fully? Is the body relaxed? Is there inspiration in terms of what you are feeling?
Most people don't realize how much time they're spending activated or overstimulated.
And if you're activated all day long, your body is going to respond accordingly.
No supplement can compensate for a nervous system that never gets a chance to rest.
And in my experience, this accounts for about 80% of the issue as it pertains to cortisol.
When people learn how to manage emotion, a lot of the cortisol problem starts resolving itself.
Once emotional management starts improving...
The next thing to look at is your biorhythm.
Are you going to bed at roughly the same time every night?
Are you waking up at roughly the same time every morning?
Because if your sleep schedule is constantly shifting...
Your hormones don't have a stable rhythm to work from.
Your body can't regulate properly.
And when your body can't regulate properly, everything becomes harder—including emotional management.
These things aren't separate. They all work together.
Then we look at food.
What are you eating?
When are you eating?
Is your body getting what it actually needs?
Not from a trendy perspective, from a physiological perspective.
Because food is information. And your body is responding to it every single day.
Then we look at something most people completely overlook.
Technology.
Screens.
Blue light.
Phones.
Instagram.
Television.
Computers.
If you're stimulating your brain late into the evening, your body never gets the signal that it's time to wind down.
And if the body doesn't wind down, stress hormones stay elevated.
Again...
Lifestyle before protocols.
Lifestyle before supplementation.
Lifestyle before gadgets.
Last weekend at Reset, we spotted this moose.
And it reminded me of something interesting.
Animals have this figured out.
They're in a parasympathetic response most of the time.
Until there's an actual threat.
Then they mobilize.
They run.
They fight.
They make sure they are going to survive.
And once the threat is gone, they go right back to resting. Back to grazing. Back to being.
The moose isn't stressed about email.
It's not worried about what somebody said on social media.
It's not replaying a conversation from three weeks ago.
It's not wondering whether its former mate is happier with another moose.
It responds to real threats, then it immediately recovers.
Humans often do the opposite.
We create physiological responses to psychological threats.
And then we stay there.
For hours.
Days.
Weeks.
Even months or years.
I'm not against supplements.
I'm not against testing.
I'm not against technology.
There are absolutely times when they're useful.
But if we're not willing to make the lifestyle adjustments first...
Nothing changes.
Because cortisol is usually just the messenger.
It's your body saying: Something is out of alignment. Pay attention.
And most of the time, the first place to look isn't outside yourself.
It's inside.
The goal isn't to eliminate stress. The goal is to become competent at managing your state.
Because when you do...
You don't just improve cortisol.
You improve your energy.
Your clarity.
Your relationships.
Your health.
Your quality of life.
Everything gets easier.
Not because the world changed.
Because you did. Your ability to manage and respond to the world has evolved.
If you prefer to engage with this work in different formats, you can also find The Connection Fix on the Blog or on The Connection Fix Podcast.
Some people like to sit with it.
Others take it on a walk.
However you train best—use that.
Before I wrap...
If cortisol is a symptom...
What might it be trying to tell you?
Is it pointing to emotional patterns?
Sleep habits?
Nutrition?
Maybe overuse of technology?
Or something else entirely?
If you're willing, send me an email and share where you think your biggest opportunity is right now.
Awareness is where change begins.
More soon.
Have a great rest of your day, and I'll look forward to connecting again next week.
Joey