I went to Dallas last weekend to spend some quality time with a good friend of mine.
And the flight home on Sunday ended up being a really good, real-time example of everything we’ve been talking about with stress.
We boarded on time.
Pushed back on time.
Got out to the runway.
And then all of a sudden, there’s an announcement that we have to go back to the gate because they loaded the wrong luggage on the plane.
My first thought was: That happens?
My second thought: Amazing it doesn’t happen more often.
And then mostly I was just grateful that they figured it out before we left!
So we go back.
We’re sitting there for maybe 30, 35 minutes while they’re switching everything out.
And then they make another announcement that we all have to deplane.
No explanation. No context. Just—everyone off the plane.
And at that point, you can really feel the energy shift.
I mean, people were already kind of on edge with the luggage switch—but at least there was this underlying sense of, alright, we’re still getting home… and our stuff is actually on the plane with us.
The people around me seemed pretty grateful they’d be landing in Denver with their toothbrush in the belly of the plane.
And if you zoom out for a second…
This isn’t just one flight.
This is what people are dealing with in airports all the time—especially during busy travel weekends.
Delays.
Cancellations.
Weather.
Crowds.
Missed connections.
It’s a perfect environment for stress patterns to show up at their worst.
You’ve got uncertainty, you’ve got lack of control, and you’ve got time pressure.
And for most people, that combination is enough to push the system straight into fight-or-flight.
So here we are needing to deplane, and people start getting frustrated.
You hear the tone in people’s voices change.
More questions. More agitation.
We all get off the plane, and now there’s a group of people gathered around the gate agent, and it turns into what you would expect.
People pressing for answers.
Voices getting louder.
A lot of frustration, a lot of demand.
Eventually they make an announcement once everyone’s off the plane.
They say, “When we were switching the luggage, we noticed the plane has a flat tire. So we have to change the tire. We’re not allowed to do that with people on the plane. That’s why we had you get off.”
So now we’re delayed even longer.
And at that point, you can really see it.
People going into full stress response.
Anger.
Frustration.
Panic.
You can feel that sympathetic, fight-or-flight state just take over.
Now here’s the reality.
Yes—there was an impact.
I was supposed to get home around 7 PM. I ended up getting home around 11 PM.
So there’s a little bit of stress just in the circumstance itself.
Later night. Less sleep. Early morning the next day.
But beyond that… Everything was fine.
What was interesting was watching how people handled it.
Because a lot of people spent hours…
Activated.
Upset. Frustrated. Complaining.
And by the time they got where they were going, they were completely depleted.
Not because of the delay.
But because of the state they stayed in the entire time.
And for me, it was just a completely different experience.
I thought, alright, I don’t really want to eat late, I’m a little hungry—so I went and found some fruit.
I ended up finding some fresh organic fruit in the airport 7-11 of all places.
I walked around, got some steps in.
I made a few phone calls. Connected with a couple people I’d been meaning to reach out to. And just used the time.
Same situation. Completely different experience.
Over the past few weeks, we’ve been talking a lot about stress.
Stress in Macro—how we relate to what’s happening in the world.
Stress in Micro—how small daily things trigger bigger reactions.
Stress in the body—how physiology itself can become the source.
If you missed those, it’s worth going back through them when you have a minute—maybe on a flight delay over this holiday travel weekend?
Because what this experience showed, really clearly, is that stress isn’t just about what’s happening. It’s about how we’re relating to what’s happening.
The event itself doesn’t create the stress. The internal loop does.
And this is where it gets really practical.
Because in any situation like that, there are really only two places where you have power.
The first is your action.
And when I say action, I’m not just talking about what you physically do. I’m talking about the full pattern of action:
The emotions you’re engaging.
The thoughts you’re thinking.
The words you’re using.
And then, yes, what you actually do.
That’s all action.
The second place is your response.
Because you may not be able to control the situation… But you can absolutely train how you respond to it.
Emotionally.
Mentally.
Physiologically.
Behaviorally.
On the flip side, there are three places where people consistently lose power.
Trying to control the circumstance.
Trying to control other people’s actions.
And trying to control how other people feel.
And if you look at that moment at the airport…
No one there could make the plane leave on time.
No one could make the gate agent move faster.
No one could make everyone else calm down.
And yet, that’s exactly where most of the energy was going.
Which is why the stress kept building.
Because the focus was on things that were completely outside of their control.
So the shift becomes very simple.
Instead of asking, “How do I fix this situation?”
You come back to:
What can I do right now?
How do I want to respond right now?
And for me, the anchor is always the same.
State first.
Peace.
Inspiration.
A sense of enjoyment in the moment.
And the question becomes:
Am I willing to align with that… even here?
Because when you do that, not only does stress drop… The entire experience changes.
And this isn’t just about a delayed flight.
It’s about traffic.
It’s about other people’s behavior.
It’s about anything that doesn’t go according to plan.
The moments where your first instinct is to react.
Those are the moments where this work actually matters.
Because the alternative is living in constant reaction.
Letting whatever is happening around you dictate how you feel.
And that’s not just painful… It’s exhausting.
If you want to take this into your own life, just start here.
Look back over the last week.
Where were the moments that became stress events for you, that didn’t actually need to be?
And on the flip side…
Where were the moments that could have gone that way, but you handled them well?
That awareness is the beginning of being able to shift it.
If you prefer to engage with this work in different formats, you can also find video episodes on YouTube or audio on The Connection Fix Podcast.
However you train best—use that.
And if you’re willing, drop one of those moments in the comments.
Where you either lost your state…
Or held it.
I read them all, and I appreciate you taking the time to share.
More soon.
Have a great rest of your day, and I look forward to connecting again next week.
Joey